The second month actually went by quite quickly. We tried to
keep up an appropriate schedule for trying, but this time without all the
pressure and expectation.
“Just relax” you’re told “It will happen when you least expect it”. Okay, fine.
In theory this is sound advice, but in reality, really?? Trying to not feel the pressure
when you’re trying to conceive is a lot easier said then done.
Before we knew it, it was time to play the ‘will it be a period, or a pregnancy™’
guessing game. Thankfully, this time we both felt more relaxed about the whole
thing. I guess it was that first try nervous excitement that takes over,
whereas after that, it’s easier to be a little more rational, and remember the
statistics of the likelihood of conception first time around.
Just like the first month, it wasn’t to be, we weren’t as discouraged this time
around, but it still was a sinking feeling.
After many more months have gone by, you end up in a repeating cycle that feels
like it’s on an automatic mode; it starts with a period, then ovulation, sex,
sex, sex, a nervous wait, then…. another period. Crap.
There are occasions where you don’t really think about the number of months
that have gone by, other times you can’t help but dwell on it, thinking there
must be something wrong with you. Was I hit in the balls too many times as a
kid? Are we doing something wrong? Am I not eating the right things or taking
the right vitamins?
As the months tick by, you start to blame yourself more and more. There must be
something wrong with you, it’s the only explanation.
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