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Okay - I'm ready, I think! Yes.

 The first couple of years of marriage were an absolute blast. 

Loads of fun, loads of adventures, meeting new people and discovering new about ourselves. 


Now, I want to be clear - marriage is still awesome -  (I'm actually writing this blog post 7 years on from this time) - but I'm setting the scene - please bear with.)


After 2 years, I felt pretty much ready to have children. I had progressed in my job and had a salary that I felt was enough to cover the expense of a child. Although, when discussing this particular concept with friends (some of whom had kids, some without), I would always get wry smile and a chuckled "You'll never have enough", "just wait until you start paying for nursery fees - you won't know what spare money looks like".


Friends, eh? One minute they'll tell you how kids are the best things in the world and we should definitely do it, but don't have them until you win the lottery! Luckily, I felt strong enough in my convictions that between Rach and I, we would probably have enough.


I was (and still am) extremely fortunate to be in a career with a lot of room for further promotion and knowledge development, so by the time we needed to start looking at nursaries, I would hopefully have progressed and be earning a little more - albeit still not enough if you listened to my friends’ tongue and cheek attitude ;)


I wanted to be as sure as I could be that I was ready, so I made sure I thought about it at least once a week, weighing up the pros and cons, what I wanted to achieve from becoming a dad, and what I would potentially be sacrificing by bringing a dependant into the world. 


It wasn't an all-consuming affair, just a few minutes a week, and thankfully each time I came to the swift-ish conclusion that Yes, I am still very much wanting to become a dad. 


I didn't really want to approach the conversation with any great, err, immediacy with Rachel until I had completed these thought processes - it wasn't for fear of a reaction - even before marriage Rachel and I were able to talk candidly to each other about anything that was in our minds.


I waited because I knew Rachel would want to go through a similar process of weighing up in her own mind, and I didn't want her to do all that with me still not having made my own decision first. 


What a rollercoaster!


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